A recent article in the Stamford Advocate disclosed that Darien’s new Superintendent of Schools, Dr. Daniel Brenner, would be allowed to continue his psychotherapy practice while presiding over the Darien school system. This opens up incredible possibilities.
First, let’s have full disclosure. Against my advice, I met with Dr. Brenner for over an hour at his request. I told him such a meeting might be a crazy thing to do but he went ahead. He said he wasn’t afraid to hear from all sides. That was refreshing. I sat at a desk in his office. I was never on a couch. He did not ask for a co-pay. I thought it was a great meeting.
In terms of the BOE, Dr. Brenner should have a chance to snag Chairman Betsy Hagerty-Ross as a patient. Explaining the stages of grief inflicted on others to Ross given her reign in office might be very helpful for the hopefully soon to be former BOE Chairman. Then there are the issues of subconscious deliberate amnesia at Shipman and Goodwin. There might be an opportunity for the lawyers to invoke a combination attorney client and doctor patient privilege so everything will be as non-transparent as it always has been.
There needs to be some attempt to understand the $500,000 concession stand people. We need to study them. We need to try and understand how they became so obsessive compulsive about something so unimportant. Dr. Brenner could conduct group and individual seances to help them deal with their weird priorities, DNA samples could be taken to find a genetic source for their triviality. Remember, ET was found to have DNA.
The Darien Town Hall, a veritable governmental Bates Motel, offers the most opportunity for patient acquisition. I think the next budget should include a hologram of the Janet Leigh shower scene with poor Janet as a symbol for the residents of Darien.
Let us take the case of the captains of industry on the BOF. I don’t really know what passive aggressive means but these wild and crazy guys might be examples. Dr. Brenner could help them understand their facade of protecting the resources of the community while cheating the most vulnerable members of the community, the special education children.
Then there are the Master Builder Darien developers and their phallic steeples that could be explained by an edifice complex. Would a skilled psychotherapist be able to bring these Master Builders back to earth without a fall?
Then there is the BOS. First, there is a real need for a professional to determine if some of the members of the BOS can fog a glass. Of course, the ultimate potential patient is Darien First Selectman Jayme, “Gone Girl,” Stevenson. I have said that I call Stevenson “Gone Girl” because, in my opinion, she is killing Darien and getting away with it. However, there are some who think I mean she is a head case. I have not discouraged this line of thinking.
Then there is the communal death wish evidenced by one of the richest zip codes in the country being proud of a third world EMS system.
My overall point is that our new superintendent has entered an asylum of sorts where the inmates roam freely. He will need all of his powers of psychoanalysis. I am not hoping for a Lourdes like cure. If we can just get some sanity. That would be a real victory.